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Wednesday, August 29, 2007
29 things not to do in a lift
~When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
~Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
~Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
~Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
~Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
~Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "that's mine!"
~Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator
~Move your desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
~Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
~Leave a box in the corner. When someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
~Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
~Ask, "Did you feel that?"
~Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
~When the doors close, announce to the others, "its okay. Don’t panic, they open up again."
~Swat at flies that don't exist.
~Tell people that you can see their aura
~Call out, "group hug!", and then enforce it.
~Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
~Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
~Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
~Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
~Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
~Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
~Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
~Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
~Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
~Fart loudly then exclaim "Was that you? There's no way I could do that one because unfortunately mine don't come out loud."
~Before the elevator door opens shout "DING" and then laugh and say "beat you again Mr. Elevator."
~Hire a Labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger's direction
Coffee sipped@8:24:00 PM
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